Dec 29, 2010

For Better or For Worse

Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.

Rather than being like Jack Sprat and his wife, complementing each other by differences, couples act like cats and dogs. You know like masculinity can complement femininity (or vice versa) or feminism can bite chivalry’s head off. I read a quote that said “Love is saying ‘I feel differently’ instead of ‘You’re wrong.’” How we react to conflict is the key to having a good relationship especially in a marriage, and being that perfect match. Your reaction should always be one of understanding, love, and forgiveness. Not one of combat. While this is most important in a marriage covenant it is also important in any relationship, whether it be mother-daughter, friend to friend, or husband and wife.

Through examples in Scripture we see many women whose choices were for better or for worse in the situation at hand. Some proved wise and were rewarded, while others proved foolish and brought their own ruin upon them.

FOR BETTER: Avigail, wife of Naval.

FOR WORSE: Job’s wife.

FOR BETTER: Hadassah.

FOR WORSE: Michal, wife of David.

I find it interesting that those who chose to do what was wise were the women with seemingly impossible and obnoxious men for husbands, where as those who chose to do foolishly were those married to men of the Torah. None of these women were married to the perfect men, by any means, and perhaps not even men they thought themselves to marry, but their reactions proved out the unity of the marriage, the family, and YHVH’s people.

I have expectations for the one I will call my beloved, and those expectations will be worked through at the appropriate time. Some expectations are purely a personally preference, stemmed from the person I am, while others are requirements, stemmed from Scriptural principals. I know it is unrealistic to think everything about him will be just as I thought it out to be, but knowing the type of man he is a starting point to whether I prove out to be wise or foolish in my marriage.

We know not what happened to George and Lydia Wickham, but they both proved to be foolish in their choice of a spouse and one can only imagine the kind of marriage they had thereafter. Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy, on the other hand, proved wise and had already come to an understanding on handling conflict between each other. I am also pretty sure Elizabeth learned a great deal from her own parents marriage in matters of irritating each other and loving above all.

Because I know that disagreements will arise and misunderstandings will come about, it is important, now, that I know how to handle these situations in a mature and Scriptural manner. He nor I may not be perfect (if fact I know we will not be), but it is important to remember to be perfect for each other. Complementing. Not being indifferent.

“No complement can be eloquent, except as an expression of indifference.”

“Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person”

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good [wo]man should be. Be one.”

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”

“Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.”

“Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion”

“Adversity is a fact of life. It can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it.”

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.”

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”

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